Deteriorating Pitch

The pitch looks very different. It is quite hard with very less grass and no cracks in it. Grasses are very weak that they are dying quickly. The pitch has deteriorated very badly that in another 5 years we will not be able to see even a trace of grass. I am not talking about cricket pitch but about my pitch, my scalp. My hair line is receding or rather my scalp is advancing.

Hair loss was bothering me to the maximum possible extent. Whichever place I went or whatever I did, embarrassments or tough times followed. Even my friend’s little daughter Anuja makes fun of me. She saw my FB profile pic (shown below) and she sang,

Anand FB Profile Pic

“Johny Johny yes papa..

Using Cap No papa

Show your hair, Ha ha ha..”

At Salon:

With the hair that was left in my head, I walked to a beauty salon “Naturals”

Without any hesitation, I asked the stylist “I wish to get some hair styling done. Do whatever is possible with my hair.” He replied “Am sorry sir. Styling is not possible for this hair”

Grrrrrrrr… I was irritated. I wanted something on my head and I decided to visit a doctor.

At doctor’s place:

Doctor asked for my problem and with a pitiful face, I told her “I have less hair but I don’t have any dandruff”

“Dandruff comes only if hair is there”, she replied

There cannot be a better way to kick start a conversation 🙂 😦

The doctor examined my hair.. Ouchhh! She suddenly pulled out a bunch of hair from the front portion of head. I was shocked on seeing that bunch. That seemed like Gold to me. That was the first time I valued my hair so much when I saw it going out of my head as a BUNCH.. A BUNCH!!!

“I took this bunch to check the pattern of your baldness” she said

“If you could have asked me, I would have told you” was my inner voice.

She calmed me down and she prescribed some medications after doing some tests on the sample bunch.

She gave me a hair cleaner.  After applying the hair cleaner, my hair fell so badly that I needed a vacuum cleaner to clean the place. Never trust the doctors who say “We will help you grow your hair”. In the end, it is we who end up helping them grow their business.

My thought process before visiting a doctor was “Money would go and Hair would come in the empty spaces”

But after visiting, I realized “Hair would go and nice air would come in the spaces”

I lost my hope on doctors after that.

At home:

I went home. My parents were discussing about my marriage and they asked me “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Ask bald guys about girlfriends/relationships and they will stare at you like they are going to kill you. At least most of them will. You will uncover at least 100 different stories from them.

I said ‘No’ and I went to my bedroom. I have heard some parents say to their sons “You must compromise on the beauty of the girl as you are bald headed”. How demotivating? Thank god I had some hair.

The brilliant dream:

Thoughts about all these were fluctuating in my mind at the speed of light and to get rid of those I decided to doze off. I had the dream of my life – Dating my girlfriend. Usually dreams come based on something that we see or think about. But what is this totally unrelated? Read further to know if it is related or not.

Usually men take 2mins to get ready but I take 10mins to get ready – 1min to dress up and 9mins to comb my hair. It is a tough job..

Gap analysis has to be done.

Long hair analysis has to be done..

Pulling long hairs to the gaps has to be done.

Since it was dating my girlfriend, I took 20mins to get ready with extra tinkering done here and there

After I got dressed up, my girlfriend and I started walking. Some dust particle fell in my eyes. She opened my eyes widely and blew with full force to remove that dust particle. When she blew, my long hair flew showing that extravagant space. My girlfriend looked at me bizarrely. And I woke up. A dream had just told me the fact of life.

Yes, one blow or one soft breeze will make that long hair stand up showing that extravagant space. This is one of the reasons why people don’t keep table fan during their wedding reception.

Root Cause Analysis:

Because of my hair loss, tough times were part of my life. I contemplated for the reasons for hair loss and I found 1 major reason..

My Mother’s father, my mother’s younger brother, my mother’s elder brother, my father’s father, my father, his younger brother, his elder brother – none of them have anything on their head. I mean the hair. They are so bald that even a wig will slide and fall.

I kept pondering over what can be done. Remember, A hair a day keeps my marriage away..

Solution:

I decided to get married as soon as possible…

Rigorous Bride search was on,

After hopes on my hair were gone

Days passed, months passed….

Now that I am married, I find my life bright and sunny,

Looking back, I laugh at those instances for they seem funny

This was a different attempt using self-deprecating humor. Need your comments to know about my attempt 🙂

PS: We need moments in life to look back and laugh at… 🙂