Ashamed to write this blog.. But will not feel ashamed again..

I feel guilty… Very guilty.. I respect my nation to the core

  • I have stood for the National Anthem even if it was telecasted on the Television
  • I have stood for the National Anthem whenever it was played before a sport (Cricket, hockey etc) begins
  • I always had the basic courtesy to respect my National Anthem no matter where I was or what I was doing..

But did I sing the Anthem correctly?? 😦

I was always sure that I made few mistakes in pronouncing few words of the Anthem

I always had this in my mind whenever I sang it but didn’t correct it immediately. I accept. Mistake is mine. Finally it was yesterday when an incident broke the shackles of my mispronunciation. It was yesterday’s briefing session for the Toastmasters Division contest which happened today that took away my shame. I was asked by the MC to join a troupe of good singing girls to sing the anthem (Don’t worry I opted out at the last moment to make it sound good :)). This was when I went home and googled for the anthem’s lyrics and heard the youtube versions for pronunciation and finally got it right. Now I can sing confidently 🙂

How many of us pronounce each and every word correctly? How many of us just join the group and just sing with them?

Please learn this quickly and take out your shame like me..

Lyrics:

jana-gaNa-mana-adhinAyaka, jaya he’
bhArata-bhAgya-vidhAtA
punjAba-sindhu-gujarAta-marAThA-
drAviDa-utkaLa-bangA
vindhya himAchala yamunA gangA
uchchala jaladhi tarangA

tava Subha nAme’ jAge’
tava Subha ASisha mAge’
gAhe’ tava jaya-gAthA |

jana-gaNa-mangaLadAyaka, jaya he’
bhArata-bhAgya-vidhAtA
jaya he’, jaya he’, jaya he’,
jaya jaya jaya, jaya he’ |

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Assumptions are the termites of relationships

  • With information being the basis for this generation, there tends to be a lot of questions posed by this generation kids. Kids ask so many questions. A ‘I don’t know’ is far better an answer than the mere assumption “What is kid going to know if I say this”.
  • Frequent ‘mind-reads’ by the spouses about each other gives way to faulty assumptions thereby leading to withdrawal. Slowly marital relationship starts to crumble
  • Teens drive fast, consume drugs, alcohol, engage in risky sexual behaviours etc with the faulty assumption “Nothing is gonna happen” with no thought about the family behind them
  • Some professors assume certain things while imparting knowledge thereby giving a ‘might be false information’
  • Individuals go with wrong assumptions on the financial front thereby leading to bad investments
  • Parents believe there is a “right way” to do something and it falls within their boundary of thinking or past experiences. This assumption forces the child to not explore his interest thereby leaving his creativity squashed while his fear of failure skyrockets

Assumptions are everywhere. They are part of every gossip.

When faulty assumptions cause so many problems, why do people make assumptions? Why are they not more careful to check their assumptions?

Assumptions are made when there is a communication breakdown. A couple, or a parent and child, or friends, may be trapped in the vortex of anger, disappointment, and shame. Communication may come to a permanent standstill or a temporary breakdown. When communication is fractured, assumptions fill the void of understanding. Negative assumptions are formed when negative feelings have been shared between individuals. Fearful emotions produce faulty, negative assumptions which then are projected onto the other as if they have been proven in a court of law. When dialogue resumes, the conversation centers upon the faulty assumptions and not on the actual truth. The individuals find themselves saying things like, “I know you were thinking that, don’t lie”, countered with, “I never thought that”, “that’s not what I meant”, “that’s not what I believe.”

Assumptions are often made to answer the question “why?”. Human brains are pattern oriented in thought and behaviour. The saying, “I’m a creature of habit” has scientific validity. When an experience is outside a person’s pattern of understanding, an alarm goes off inside the brain which causes anxious feelings. When Rohit’s (Imaginary Character) girlfriend unexpectedly broke-up with him, he was shocked and bewildered, wondering WHY it happened. To calm his anxious feelings regarding his part in the break-up, he creates assumptions, assumptions that help him make sense of it and place him in a more favourable light. “She must not be ready for a mature relationship,” he tells himself. The fear that it could be something more significant within him that needs changing is too threatening to consider, so he places the blame on her to help him cope with his anxious feelings.

So, the next time you find yourself so sure about something, SLOW DOWN and determine if your surety is based upon an assumption or something more substantial and credible. Ask questions. Be humble and maintain an attitude of grace and patience. Explore different perspectives. Seek understanding more than being understood. Cultivating healthy communication allows us to reduce our faulty assumptions and live free of many fears and anxieties.

IT TAKES TIME FOR US TO BUILD RELATIONSHIPS AND IT TAKES ONLY ONE ASSUMPTION TO BREAK IT INTO PIECES