Few years back I traveled by train from Chennai to Coimbatore. I was seated in a coupe where there were 2 families each of them with a 3yr old kid. The kids were playing so happily with their toys/dolls. When the train started, one of the families got down with their child. The child in the train started crying so badly for having taken away from him his little cute friend. His heart was heavy and he expressed his emotions right there. It didn’t matter for him if it was public or private. He tells the world the love he had for his little friend. I felt so sad for him. Children are so open and expressive.
We are so conscious to express ourselves. The environment matters more. Crying is viewed as negative in the society. Loud laughter is negative. What is this society if it even deprives a human of his basic right to cry when he is in deep sorrow or to laugh out loud when his heart is rejoicing?
Our intention is to express but our actual action ends up in impressing the society.
As children we expressed our interests in everything but now we suppress it as we project ourselves to be more strong and dignified.
While looking for a bride, there are instances when we look at the right match and talk to the girls’ parents regarding our interest in her. There would be instances wherein we might not get a reply in a day or two. But we would genuinely be interested to ask their views again but we suppress it. Reason being our thought process which goes like this “We are from the boy’s side and so we shouldn’t be leaning forward so much to know their interest. Let them get back. I should maintain a strong image.”
We don’t even express our basic interests. Unlike children, we kill our intentions basing it upon the undefined, meaningless societal norms.
Our intention is to express but our actual action ends up in impressing the society.
As children, we loved to watch cartoons, read comics, watch animated movies etc.
A 25yr old feels shy to read Champak or to read Tintin in a public library as people look at him/her in a bizarre way. Usual immediate response being “Those are childish books”. But who writes it? A child is it? The 25yr old wishes to express his/her interest in those books but stumbles by what others would say..
Our intention is to express but our actual action ends up in impressing the society.
This society views the word “childish” as a derogatory term but by being childish, it will help us in a lot of ways to express our intentions. Follow your intentions and express your intentions as actions.
Deep down, our intentions are always true and pure but the outside world in a way influences a person to create a mismatch between intentions and actions. It is up to us to resolve the mismatch..
Filed under: Give it a thought!!
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I used to feel shy to say “Machi entha ponnu super da..”, because the society tagged it to be an ignominious act.If we polish it a bit and express it as you are adorable, it’s actually an act of appreciation. We have no choices except to revolve and evolve with the world you described. At any cost ‘being happy’ shouldnt be lost!
Very true
Indeed, the list is endless. As we grow up, we tend to start thinking about what others would think. It becomes more of a habit with time
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It’s more complicated than that. You are what you potray, and so your ‘image’ carries more than just your appearence. WHat the other person feels about your
1. intellect
2. decision making ability
3. personality
4. reliability of your thougths
all counts in every day life. When a child cries, you just say ‘he/she is a kid, they can cry’, but if a person has a compulsive personality like findind fault in others or having an opinion on everything, you might listen to 2 or 3. Once you begin to feel most of his opinions are baseless, you’d stop considering it alltogether. Its like the boy who cried wolf story. No one will give imp to what you say. To safeguard it, you say what the other person might value you with.
For instance, you might be a hater of anything western (from cloths, food, culture etc.) you don’t go around your neighborhood crying that you hate western stuff. Likewise you don’t flood your social networks with hate messages saying, stop selling Ralph Lauren stuff etc. You keep them inside yourself cos you don’t want to be considered a big mouth.
i just touched the edges, the thought process pierces deeper in this worthy topic.